Okay, I get it, doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine. But what about global weather patterns? Oscillations? Climate? If the title wasn't clear enough then allow me to explicitly express my frustrations with people who move WAY TOO FAST. One date and all of a sudden you're in love?? I don't think that's a good idea for some many reasons...
First, you know absolutely nothing about me, which tells me that much of the infatuation is based solely on physical appearance. Secondly, there's no way I am feeling you as much as you're feeling me because, well, I don't know you and that means something to me. Finally, you're just completely and totally turning me off. Which is a shame because I was partially interested only 20 minutes ago.
I guess there's a fine line between this and the alternative. To me, complete disinterest is also a total turnoff. But I do think there is a way to flirtatiously be cautiously interested without making someone feel like you're going to turn into the temp chick from Obsessed. Experience has taught me that the first date recitation of all the reasons why someone is "really feeling you" tends to equal CLINGY. Thus, I tend to shy away.
Thoughts?
Ummm...clearly!
ReplyDeleteI started dating a guy a couple months ago--we'll call him Joe. So after we first meet and went out mmm, I don't know, 2 times he's like "I wanna talk about our relationship. You my boyfriend." And I'm like "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!" "BOYFRIEND??!?!?" First of all, I don't even KNOW you! ANNND you don't know me! Boyfriend?!?!?!? Why can't we just get to know each other! My thing is, when I LIKE someone, I'm only interested in him. I don't "play the field." I don't have no side boos, it's just him. And I like to go SLOOOOOW and discover things about each other naturally. And only TIME can do that! I just recently had to shut him down when he said the same thing. I just don't know. People are crazy!
GURL! I got one calling me right now talking about he is the man for me and he can't stop thinking about me and how beautiful I am. Here is the kicker, we have yet to go on a date, AAAAAND he doesn't know my name. He was soooo concerned with getting my number he failed to get my IDENTITY!!! He recently left 5 voicemail messages on my phone because I was MIA for 1 day (not to mention all the blocked numbers he calls me from). Can we say scary?! And my friends wonder why I don't date.
ReplyDeleteoh boy... i feel you girl. i had a first convo on the phone after that "set up" and long story short, I had to tell this fool he was stressing me out b/c I was just trying to get to know him & thus "No, I do not know how serious my feelings are at the moment. Sorry sir - I will get back to you in a few months on that." I mean, not something you expect to have to go through on a first phone convo - what the hell????? But for some reason, I am not totally turned off... he is fine as hell... he just needs some coaching (and to whooosaa, learn to be easy... all that). I think you can "uncling" folks, no?
ReplyDeleteuh. yes, i feel you! also, how about on the 2nd date, please do not emotionally vomit on me. i know it's all about sharing and building trust and communication. but let's be easy on this, our 2nd date, and save that for later. like, after i figure out if i really want to deal with you or not. b/c at date 2, and really, at any phase, i'm re-evaluating 'us'(i use that term loosely) and with that emotional vomit u soiled me with, you just lost one.
ReplyDeletewow. sounds like dating was a lot easier in high school. so many rules now...
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